Bittersweet Symphony
2004-07-29 at 11:50 p.m.
Bittersweet Symphony
And the worst thing is... I spelled the title of my last entry entry wrong, and it was up for sooo long! Well, my husband didn't pay the cable bill and no land telephone line in the house, so no internet for some time.I don't even want to read old entries, I'm a sucker. Poor naive sucker.
So much has happened, and aside from not much liking doing the quick catching up that attempts but is not able to capture the emotion of another time, I'm constrained by legal concerns from sharing my entire story. That sucks because this is supposed to be, like, the place in my life where I am most honest, and I toyed with the idea of leaving for six months to a year, but honestly I can't stay away, and so I am hoping that I will be able to pull this off.
So... I am in Utah. Rest assured my husband and I still love each other, we are still married, and we plan to be together for our lives, but he is not here, and that is all I can say. Oh, I'm already getting a headache from the evasion which, although honest, is still evasive.
One thing I can disclose is how much my mom sucks. So let's do that now. She phoned my husband today to threaten him that if he did not leave me, she would phone the INS, the CIA, the FBI, etc. to do everything in her power to get him deported. Then I went insane, yelled at her, and SHE HIT ME. If she didn't have two young daughters I would have called the police. Although I couldn't stand up to her when she physically abused me as a child, I know how to now. And in all the matter, she seemed to think that the only wrong acts committed were that my husband told me about the call and that I yelled at her about it. The worst part is that I have to stay here. But the best part is that I have a big room, shortly to have most everything I will need except a bathroom, kitchen sink, and a stove, and she is gone a lot at work. And I can do anything for my son and my husband, even bite my tongue. Aye me the sad headaches of life. Hopefully towards something better.
When you see an entry with the same title as today's, it will mean I am ready to fill you in on everything. How adolescently dramatic.
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